It’s (HR) Therapy.

My Statement of Purpose in applying to Grad School to study Mental Health Counseling.

Over the 17 years that I’ve worked in Human Resources, time and time again employees have left meetings with me saying, “That felt like HR therapy!”  That notion has become increasingly compelling to me, and in order to realize it, I am applying to get my masters in mental health counseling.  I am eager to incorporate new knowledge and methods into my current work as Vice President of People Operations and Culture at Bespoke Post, an e-commerce company, with the long-term goal of a private consulting practice providing HR insight, expertise and counseling as a licensed therapist.

For years I’ve enjoyed saying, “I put the human in Human Resources.”  Through instincts, intuition, and on-the-job learning, I have improved the employee journey from candidate through alumni for thousands of people.  I found my niche at founder-led, creative companies with under 100 employees, where I have the opportunity to get to know and support every level, from interns to executives. Throughout my life, I have easily connected with people of all ages, backgrounds and interests, and my people skills have proved to be my superpower.

I’ve supported employees through various job-related stresses, including transitioning to new supervisory roles, managing increased responsibilities and burnout, handling disappointment after not receiving promotions, combating imposter syndrome, dealing with difficult or toxic bosses, and managing transitions back from parental leaves.  I’ve coached leaders on managing high performers, underperformers and everyone in between.  I’ve handled complex and high-stakes situations for companies, like office dating that turned into sexual harassment, discrimination, conflict mediation, and executing layoffs and terminations.

Inevitably, employees have opened up about their mental health challenges: anxiety, panic attacks, depression, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts and sexual abuse.  In 2013, I tried to support an employee struggling with drug addiction, but had to make the difficult decision to terminate him when we discovered he was selling drugs to fellow employees.  Nine days later he committed suicide.  I wrote about the experience in My First, A Suicide, and a Whole Office.  It was shocking, painful, and I had to work through it for months in my own therapy.  I believe I did everything I could for him, but I still wonder how I might have handled it differently if I was trained as a therapist.

In March 2020, I began my current role at Bespoke Post as the first person to lead their HR function and the first remote employee hired during the pandemic.  It was a time of rapid and critical change in HR.  I didn't have an in-person meeting with a single colleague for 17 months.  I quickly had to adapt to building relationships over Zoom so that I could learn what everyone’s roles were, how they were adapting to the pandemic, and how I might best support them.  I saw an increase in mental health challenges as the lines between home and the office blurred.  Employees continued to refer to their conversations with me as "HR therapy," but this took on new weight as the global mental health crisis intensified.  In my 30+ years in the workplace, conversations around mental health have never been more crucial, and I am eager for more training and tools to support employees with these issues.

Then the impact of George Floyd’s murder and a long-overdue racial reckoning sparked new conversations in the workplace.  Never have I been more grateful for my upbringing and the ways it equipped me to have these conversations.  I have 9 brothers and sisters, 6 of whom were adopted from different races and countries.  The importance of fighting for racial and social justice was instilled in me before I was cognizant, and I have found great satisfaction in working to achieve it in the workplace.

Growing up in such a large and diverse family also taught me a tremendous amount about group dynamics.  I wasn’t the most talented and I wasn’t the most troubled.  In my family, extreme behaviors, both positive and negative, were the ones that won time for attention.  As an HR leader, I make sure to advocate for the employees who both thrive and suffer in the in-between, and I make sure they are seen, heard, supported, and rewarded.  I’ve made it my mission to improve the work life of all employees, regardless of role or rank.

I spent my twenties pursuing my career goals breathlessly and ambitiously.  In my early thirties, I found myself struggling to get pregnant, and after four years of trying, naturally and medically, I was told I wouldn’t be able to conceive.  During these difficult years, I found yoga and meditation, and I learned to breathe.  I resigned from my Vice President of Human Resources gig to volunteer at the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies, a non-profit educational retreat center.  Not many people quit their six-figure job to get paid in yoga, but they took advantage of my corporate skills in the office of their wellness center, and I took advantage of all the services they provided: acutonics, shamanic healing, intuitive guidance, chakra balancing, handwriting analysis, Thai massage, sweat lodges.  Five weeks later I found out I was pregnant.

Though I eventually returned to the corporate world, I brought these alternative wellness disciplines with me, and I earned my Yoga Teacher Training Certification on the way.  I integrate these modalities into my support of founders and employees in the workplace in the form of monthly meditations, yoga, and mindfulness practices.

As my belief in the efficacy of wellness work has grown, so has my belief in the value of my own therapy, and it is only fitting that I was introduced to therapy at work.  The week after 9/11, the HR team at Donna Karan, where I worked, offered five free therapy sessions to all employees.  It was in those sessions that I was first diagnosed, at 25 years old, with OCD and anxiety.  I couldn’t afford more than the five complimentary sessions, but the diagnosis was a revelation.  I finally began to understand my brain and the hacks, both healthy and unhealthy, that I had developed to navigate my childhood and early adult life. 

I returned to the same therapist a few years later when my ruminating became overwhelmingly intrusive the first time I had to terminate an employee.  I couldn’t eat or sleep.  I went to bed filled with dread and woke up sick to my stomach.  There is natural anxiety in having to terminate someone, but this was debilitating.  My usual hacks failed me, and since I could now afford therapy, I knew I needed to figure out how to calm my anxious mind, better understand my OCD, and employ these new strategies in my work.

I’ve continued with my therapy in the decades since, and it has dramatically improved my personal life and my work life.  I want to be able to do that to an even greater degree for the people I work with.

I am proud to be able to say that I have already achieved the goals I set for my career back in my twenties.  My new goal is to continue to work full-time at my company and join the Fall 2023 cohort as a part-time student, so that I can evolve from coach to counselor, and eventually provide professionals with my unique brand of clinical therapy.