You’re Doing It:
Stages of Becoming
By Britta Larsen
Book Launch | March 2026
How do we become who we are? What forces—family, school, friendships, love, work, identity, and loss—shape our development and sense of self? You’re Doing It: Stages of Becoming is a deeply personal exploration of this question, merging memoir with psychoeducation. Inspired by my graduate studies in mental health counseling at Northwestern University (Class of ’25), my favorite course, Human Growth & Development, and my quest to understand my habits, addictions, coping and defense mechanisms, and purpose, each chapter explores a stage of life through Erik Erikson’s psychosocial development theory, woven into my own life story.
Growing up as one of ten siblings in a diverse, multicultural family, I navigated both chaos and connection. These experiences, along with struggles with dyslexia, abuse, loneliness, and a lifelong search for intimacy, autonomy, and purpose, shaped my understanding of self, love, and belonging. Stages of Becoming explores my journey—from a big family in Boston to the fashion industry in NYC, from an HR executive to a founder and future therapist—through the lens of Erikson’s eight stages of human development. By revisiting pivotal moments, I examine how past experiences shape present choices and future possibilities.
Erikson’s theory suggests that each stage of life presents a conflict or crisis that must be resolved for personal growth. Successfully navigating these conflicts builds resilience and adaptive coping mechanisms, while unresolved issues may lead to emotional challenges and an incomplete sense of self. This book brings these concepts to life through personal experiences, showing how understanding our past can help us move forward with clarity and compassion.
Through self-reflection and psychological insights, Stages of Becoming is an exploration of family, identity, inclusion, and the ongoing quest for meaning in life and highlights how understanding our own development fosters clarity, healing, and purpose—reminding us that growth is a lifelong process.
Chapter 1: Trust vs Mistrust 1976-1977
Infancy, 0 - 18 months year
This first stage determines if infants can trust their caregivers to meet their needs. Success leads to trust and security; failure can result in mistrust, insecurity, fear, and difficulties forming healthy relationships later.
I was born into a loving but chaotic home as the seventh child, where my early needs often competed with the energy and demands of six older siblings — an experience that shaped both trust and mistrust in my earliest development. Through Erikson’s lens, I now see how this foundation influences my adult patterns: seeking connection while bracing for disconnection, finding comfort in chaos, and learning to trust solitude and stillness.
1976: My first pic with my siblings (3 hours old)
Chapter 2: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt 1977-1979
Toddlerhood, 1-3 years
In this second stage toddlers learn to exercise independence. Encouragement fosters autonomy, while over-criticism can result in doubt and shame.
Growing up in a large family that functioned as a tightly coordinated pack, I had to navigate constant togetherness — which taught me collaboration, adaptability, and how to contribute to a group. While my attempts at autonomy were often overshadowed, I now see through Erikson’s lens how this experience both challenged my sense of individuality and helped me develop a deep understanding of harmony, resilience, and the dynamics of human connection.
1977: The youngest in matching outfits on the beach to keep track of us (18 months old)
Chapter 3: Initiative vs. Guilt 1979-1982
Preschool, 3-6 years
In this third stage, children begin to assert control and take initiative. Successfully balancing initiative with restraint leads to purpose, while excessive control can lead to guilt.
In a large, ever-changing family, I had to work hard to find space for independence and self-assertion — an effort that taught me adaptability, empathy, and the value of small moments of agency. School became an early proving ground where I could lead and be seen, helping me build confidence and resilience, even as shifting family dynamics continued to challenge my sense of visibility and self-worth.
1980: Welcome to Kindergarten-2nd row, 3rd from left (4 years old)
Chapter 4: Industry vs. Inferiority 1982-1988
School Age, 6-12 years
In this fourth stage, children develop a sense of competence through school and social interactions. Mastery of skills fosters a sense of industry, while failure results in feelings of inferiority.
I struggled to feel seen or valued in a large family where attention often went to the most talented or troubled, leaving me caught in comparison and invisibility. Mistaken for a sibling, bullied at school, and surrounded by constant family dynamics, I internalized a deep sense of inferiority and self-doubt. At the same time, my parents worked hard to create a home that celebrated diversity and embraced different cultures, which shaped my values in positive ways. Yet, beneath my cheerful exterior, I longed to feel recognized for who I truly was.
1984: 4th grade, how did I leave the house with that eyeliner on? (9 years old)
Chapter 5: Identity vs. Role Confusion 1988-1994
Adolescence, 12-18 years
In this fifth stage, adolescents explore their identity, trying to figure out who they are. Successfully resolving this crisis leads to a strong sense of self, while failure can result in role confusion.
As I entered adolescence, I began carving out my own identity — thriving at work, building leadership skills through dance, and engaging in new friendships — even as I navigated the chaos of a large family and the lingering effects of bullying. Yet beneath my outward confidence and drive, an abusive relationship and years of hidden struggles with self-worth complicated this growth and left me carrying significant self-doubt and anxiety into young adulthood — along with resilience, adaptability, and a deep commitment to going after my dream career in fashion.
1991: Launched The Fly Girls Dance Group in High School-2nd from bottom left (15 years old)
Chapter 6: Intimacy vs. Isolation 1994-2016
Young Adulthood, 18-40 years
In this sixth stage, individuals seek deep, intimate relationships. Successful navigation leads to healthy relationships, while failure results in loneliness and isolation.
During this stage, I built meaningful relationships, pursued a thriving career in fashion, and embraced personal growth through therapy, yoga, meditation, and motherhood — all while navigating the complexities of marriage, loss, and my family’s changing dynamics. Though the balance between intimacy and identity remained a work in progress, I emerged with greater self-awareness, resilience, and a deepening foundation for the growth and clarity to come.
2002: My wedding day in the backyard of my childhood home. (25 years old)
Chapter 7: Generativity vs. Stagnation 2016-2041
Middle Adulthood, 40-65 years
In this seventh stage, adults focus on contributing to society and the next generation through work, family, or community involvement. Success leads to feelings of accomplishment, while failure results in stagnation.
I embraced a new chapter of growth—leaving an unfulfilling marriage, pursuing a fulfilling career, and stepping into single motherhood with honesty, purpose, and a deepened commitment to personal and professional growth. Now, as I approach 50, I’m building a legacy grounded in learning, healing, and giving back through meaningful work—while raising two socially conscious, emotionally healthy children and continuing to grow into the counselor and leader I’m becoming.
2024: CFDA Fashion Awards (48 years old)
If Little Britta knew one day she’d be at the Fashion Awards…dreams do come true.
Epilogue: Integrity vs. Despair 2041+
Late Adulthood, 65+ years
In the final stage, individuals reflect on their life. A sense of fulfillment leads to integrity, while regret results in despair. The goal of this stage is to achieve a sense of wisdom and acceptance, where individuals can look back on their lives with a sense of peace.
Though I’m years away from fully entering Stage 8, I see powerful lessons in how my parents now embody both ego integrity and despair—offering reflections on acceptance, connection, and the meaning we make of our lives. Observing their paths has deepened my compassion, sharpened my insights through my counseling studies, and strengthened my resolve to approach this stage with intentional growth, emotional connection, and a legacy of authenticity for myself and my children.
